Sept. 8, 2003

Lost Little Puppy

Chicago is an interesting place. I have never been to Chicago in all my years of traveling with soccer. The only places I ever go are related to soccer travel. Disney is the only place I have gone unrelated to soccer. The family really likes the Disney thing. I end up getting aggravated by long lines and hot, sweaty adults that really need a shower. But getting back to Chicago, I think there is a serious problem that no one has said anything about. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I think people in Chicago are, well, how do you say, this is just my observation, but people in Chicago are directionally challenged.

We arrived into O'Hare on time Thursday afternoon. We rented three vans and managed to get a lunch for the team and make it to the hotel. We left the hotel in order to get a light jog and stretch at the fields at Northwestern. I was assured that Northwestern was 10 or 15 minutes away from the hotel. This was said of course to get our business. Can you believe that someone would tell you something untrue in order to get you to book ten rooms for three nights? The drive was an interesting one. It is safe to say that the roads are a bit beat up. I think the girls sitting in the back of the van must have hit the ceiling twenty times by the time we made it to the fields. By the way, it took 45 minutes. It was the "traffic" I would be told later. It was the "construction" I would be told later. I asked her if the traffic and construction started the day we arrived. Did all these people from all over the world suddenly decide to visit on the weekend we happened to be here? Did all the construction happen to start on September 4th? Did all those pot holes suddenly appear on the roads as we drove over them? The look on her face made me believe that she thought her answer was sufficient. I figured I made my point and I certainly did not want to get red carded from the hotel. I have already dealt with that before.

We made it back to the Holiday Inn Skokie and showered to get ready for dinner. We decided that something close was the answer, since we may have lost a van to a black hole in the road. We found an Outback and everyone was happy. An interesting thing happened while we were at the restaurant. Normally, we have to wait 10 or 15 minutes (that is hotel driving time estimate minutes) in order to be seated at a place like this. This means that every kid is standing outside talking on their cell phones to everyone they have ever met. I am sure the parents know what I mean. Free minutes, please! I have seen cell phone bills. Anyway, a car looses control at the intersection avoiding an accident and comes crashing through the landscaping, hitting a car in the parking lot and nearly running up the sidewalk near the Outback. Had we been waiting outside, it is possible that something worse may have happened. Our trainer Josh had just been standing on that very corner looking to see if the camera on the intersection was taking pictures of red light runners. It seems that he was worried that he might have been photographed. Luckily he had returned to the restaurant shortly before this happened. However, he let us know that he might have been there and been hurt because that is exactly where he was standing. I informed him that if I had all five numbers in the lottery, he would be replaced with Dr. Carter from ER. A flair for the dramatic I sense! We finished our dinner and returned across the street to our hotel that is apparently within 15 minutes of everything.

We finished the first game of the trip. We lost 1-0 in double overtime. Only two minutes away from a tie. It was our first loss of the season. Northwestern was a very good team. They were big and strong and very good in the air. It took us until the second half to get used to the field. It was a bit choppy and the grass was long and a different texture than our home field. The ball did not roll well and our passes were often soft and off target. We had some chances to put the game away in regulation and overtime but it was not to be this day. We did not play our best, but we did walk away a better team. Our players took the loss hard. We put such an emotional stake in our games that whether we win or lose, the bar is always raised higher.

Chicago is a very busy city. There are a billion or so people here, so it seems. There are many traffic lights and it is clear to me that no one really knows anything. Jim and I asked the front desk if they knew of a laundry service so we can wash the uniforms from Friday's game. Howard Shirt Laundry on the corner of Howard and Lincoln, just down the street off Carpenter around the east side of the building. We get the bags of laundry and off we go. Well, it seems that our directions are not understood correctly. We drive around for 25 minutes (real time) and decide to go back to the hotel. It seems that we could not find this place. I am convinced that this is a conspiracy of the hotel sales lady who is having a fun time with us. We ask for a telephone book because we want to find a place on our own. We are men, by the way. After locating a seemingly suitable place, the desk clerk tells us it is 15 minutes away (yeah, right). Just go down Touhy Avenue to Milwaukee Street. Turn left and you should see it next to the White Hen. Sounds easy enough. Should we go out and search again. Let's go. The team is still sleeping and we have some time to kill. Out we go. We are back in 35 minutes without finding our Holy Grail of coin laundries. An idea pops into Jim's head. He asks, "Do you have washing machines here?" The desk clerk says, "Why yes we do. They are just around the corner down the hall to the right. It's about 35 steps from here".

The team is now awake and we are going into the city for some site seeing on our off day. We went to Michigan Ave because we were told to go there. We actually found it and then parked at a garage and walked around for a few hours and returned back to the hotel. It was a bit more of a drive than I expected. We were very tired so I told the team I would go to Quizno's and get some subs to eat later. I called a Quizno's to find out how to get there. I was told to go on Touhy Ave to the Shell station. It was near the Best Buy. I follow these instructions to the smallest detail. I see a Shell station and there is nothing near it. Not even another gas station! I track down the phone number and call it on my cell phone. "I just called you and asked you where your place was. I said I am at the Holiday Inn and you said to go to the Shell and there is no Quizno's here." "You need to come back up the road to the Shell on Carpenter and make a right. You will see our Quizno's sign on your right after you turn at the Shell on Carpenter" he said. I am a bit steaming now I could toast their subs on my growing bald spot. I drive back up the road to Carpenter and turn right at the Citco Station. Not a Shell, but a Citco. After turning right, I see a Quizno's sign. The problem is that it is not lit up! The sign is not lit up! The sign is not lit up! A minor detail. By the way, I could have walked to this place from our hotel! What are the chances that the guy who gave me directions will actually get my order of 20 subs correct?

It is Sunday AM and I decided to get breakfast for the team. Fresh bagels, cereal and fruit on an early game day will work just fine. I found an open store called Cub Foods. I am going up and down the aisles picking up cereals and other items I think will properly nourish our bodies. I decide I need one for thing, raisins. I cannot find them. I ask a seemingly nice woman where I can find some raisins. "They are at the other end of the store on aisle 27." Off I go on another quest. Pushing my cart along, I notice that this seems to be the pharmacy section. It is an odd place to put raisins. Maybe that is why I couldn't find them in the first place. No luck. I see a nice old man stocking the shelf with feminine products. I ask him if he knows where the raisins are stocked. "Down on aisle two at the other end of the store. Doesn't make sense to put raisins down here young fella. I would say you are barking up the wrong tree. Hah hah hah hah." Thanks. Back to the other end of the store. I find my raisins and now I can check out. The lady who sent me to the other end of the store is bagging my groceries. She starts to smile and then laugh. I said, "What is so funny?" Holding the package of raisins, she said, "I thought you said razors". That woman had a hardy laugh on my account. She sent me out looking for razors. I said raisins. I clearly said raisins. She must be related to the sales lady at the hotel.

I have come to the conclusion that the reason there are so many people in Chicago is that they cannot find there way out. They continually get bad directions and are in a Dante's Inferno of bad directions. Rather than find a way out, they give in and in turn give bad directions to others. It is a never ending cycle. We have to get out of here. We lost another tough game to Minnesota, 1-0. Another shutout loss. While the team is showereing, we dare asked an attendant for the best way to the airport. We will never learn. This time it works out. We make it! That young man must have been and angel sent to get us home. We go through security and make it to the gate. The flight is delayed because the pilot got lost trying to find the airport! By the way, we need some help trying to find our way to the goal. Does anyone know the directions?

Brian